Potty Talk - The Asian Squat

So I had to go to the market to get a few things tonight and most of the things I needed were from an Asian supermarket. I stopped by the "99 Ranch Market" (an Asian supermarket) on my way home from work. While there I had to use the restroom and when I walked in I saw this sign on the door of each stall.

I thought this was one of the funniest things I've seen in a long time! I just had to share it. It may not be that funny to those who don't understand the Asian culture but to me it was hilarious.

The Asian Squat - I don't know how or why it started but it's just something that Asian people do.

Most of my childhood memories of my mother are her doing everyday chores and activities in the squatting position. She used to prepare meals, cook, bbq, smoke, garden, hose down the drive way, play cards, clean the floor etc. in the A.S. position. Even to this day whenever my mom comes over I still find her outside gardening or smoking a cigarette in the squatting position. Another thing she'd do, which made the above sign so totally funny to me, was squat on top of the toilet seat, when she'd go to the bathroom! So I totally understand when the sign in the bathroom of the "99 Ranch Market" asks, "Please don't stand on the toilet seat".

I guess some would think why the heck would someone stand on a toilet seat! Well, in Korea, the toilets look like this...

This is a more modern toilet in Korea. You just basically hoover over the white part and pray that your stuff goes in...That's why they squat!

So to my mom, and now I realize most Asian people, standing on the toilet seat to do your business is totally natural. If you think about it, it is a more logical way to poo. Squatting does help push "it" out from your intestines. Ha!

Yeah it's so incredibly gross but I think it's so funny that the problem is so common that they have to put up signs.

The above picture is my mom and sisters demonstrating the Asian Squat back in the 70's.

The very first picture of this post is the old school out houses in Korea. It was basically a little hut with a wooden framed hole in the ground. When I went to Korea 19 years ago, my uncle's toilet was very similar to this one. It was so scary to go to the bathroom at night so I did my potties in a small wastebasket and my cousin would take it out and "dump" it for me. My uncle told me that there were two hogs in the bottom of the hole that would eat your poo! EWWWWWW!

My Valentine to Ben!

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Help!!!

I had no clue that trying to get pregnant would be so hard!

I’m sure…let me rephrase that, I know it’s not that hard for everyone. I know they say that some women get looked at and “BAM!”…preggo.

For us... it’s not the case. Ever since we got married I’ve been wanting to start our family. We held off and have been really careful to not get pregnant for so many years. That was the easy part. I always thought it was the other way around.

We waited because Ben and I have always felt strongly that if we were going to have a family that I would be home to take care of the house and the children. I’ve never wanted to have children and then send them to someone else to be raised.

Well, Ben finally graduated from school so we kind of planned that I would have the baby a month after he graduated. Well that’s passed and no baby… not even a pregnancy!

I’m feeling so frustrated and hopeless of the whole gosh darn situation. We’ve officially tried for 9 months now with no success. I did get pregnant in September but didn’t know I was pregnant till I miscarried in October. We were sad, but grateful that it was still way early in the pregnancy.

Anywho, I have a few factors working against me. #1. I have a tilted uterus, which is a problem with fertility. #2. I have hypothyroid (that’s why I’m FAT!- ha! That’s what my little Chinese family doctor told me. He poked my stomach and said, in my best Chinese accent, “You have hypothyroid. That’s why you FAT!”) which is another problem with fertility. And #3. I have a uterine fibroid. My OBGYN swears up and down that most women have these and mine is so small that it wouldn’t interfere with the birthing process but it could also affect my fertility.

So, that’s 3 strikes! Ben and I went in October to my OBGYN to actually talk to her about advice and information about fertility treatments and that’s when she told me that I was actually pregnant but was in the early stages of miscarriage. My doctor was very excited because she said that at least now we know that I can get pregnant. She recommended that we purchase an ovulation monitor ($245.00) to make sure that we are timing my ovulation and that thing that married people do. (Sorry I’m trying not to be so graphic) Well I’ve known for the past 6 years every time I’ve ovulated! I’ve been BBT charting ever since we got married. I’m an expert so I didn’t understand why I had to have a $245.00 machine tell me when I was ovulating. Well we still listened to my doctor and I found a monitor online for $145.00. I’ve used it for 3 months now and still no success. Actually, I’m only going to count 2 of those months because one of those months Ben and I were vomiting (out of both ends) all through my fertile phase. Anyways, her recommendation was go home and keep trying, relax and get drunk for the holidays and it will happen. If it doesn’t then, call her at the beginning of the year and we’ll talk about fertility treatments.

Well, it's the beginning of the year and still no success. I feel like we've done everything we could (except get drunk). So I made an appointment today, to talk to my doctor about fertility treatments. The appointment is scheduled for next week and I'm kind of nervous. Ben is excited because to him, Fertility Treatments = Multiples! Friends keep telling me to be patient and it will happen, not on my time but on the Lord's time. And I totally get that, it's just that I feel like my time is running out. I'm going to be 30 in less than a month and that means that I'll only have 5 good years to have all of our babies before I'd be in the high risk stage! I don't want to turn to fertility drugs but I also don't want to wait too long! I'm starting to feel like it's our only option. It's scary to me because I don't know or understand all of the side effects both short term and long term and also it scares me because it's not natural. I'm so totally bummed and stressed to the max and I know that this is not helping any.

Every month I get excited because I get some kind of pregnancy symptom but then I get my monthly visit from the crimson tide. Especially this month, I was so convinced that I was preggo! I had breast soreness for 2 weeks straight now, I gained 5lbs, I keep smelling pickles, I've been craving Kraft Singles (which I hate), bloating and I even feel nauseous! I learned last night that this is called, Pseudocyesis or false pregnancy symptoms.

So now I feel like some crazy lady with a tilted uterus, hypothyroid, a uterine fibroid, Pseudocyesis and still not pregnant! Arrrrrgggg!!!!

I wish we could just go away on a vacation for a couple of days and just relax and leave all of our worries and stresses at home.

Someone please help! Any advice or anyone else who’s been through this!?! I know all of my friends have been “Fertile Myrtles”, so words of encouragement and prayers would help too.

My sister Brenda is something else.

I originally wasn't going to post this, but just had to share how awful my sister Brenda is.

My sister is always doing stuff to scare or to gross-out my little niece (her oldest daughter) Kerry Lee.

For instance around Halloween, Brenda, Kerry and I went to Target to do some shopping. Kerry was sitting in the cart and I was pushing. Brenda quietly grabbed a scary monster mask and put it on, then grabbed the shopping cart from me. Kerry just freaked out and hysterically started crying and screaming. Brenda was cracking up! She finally took off the mask to calm Kerry down, but the funny thing was that Kerry just started crying even more! The poor little girl just threw herself at me and wouldn't go to or even look at her mom.

Remind me to never let my horrible sister ever babysit my children.

I can only imagine what else my sister does to my poor niece. When we were younger, I was tortured and mentally and physically abused by Brenda.

One time, she was supposed to be babysitting me when my parent's went out. It was night-time and she made me sit with her and watch "Nightmare on Elm Street". The next thing I knew she was running out of the house and down the street with a knife and blood all over her, screaming that Freddy Kruger got her. What she had done was poured ketchup all over her body and stuck a butcher knife under her armpit. I just remember screaming and crying, running after her down the street. I guess this is why I turned out the way that I did.

I am amazed that I still love and choose to hang-out with this woman.

So now that you have an idea of how my sister is, it brings me to my story that again, originally I wasn't going to post, but I think the world should know to keep your children away from this crazy woman!

So last Saturday, Ben and I were at my sister's house and my little niece asked if we could go out and hunt for earthworms? It had just finished raining, so she knew that they would be out. I don't know how or why, but Kerry has a fascination with worms. So we all went out on a hunt for earthworms.

We found a few and we were cleaning them off and explaining to Kerry the little we knew about worms. She was enthralled at how you could see the poop and blood moving through their little see-through bodies.

That's when it happened!

My sister started coughing and laughing so we looked over at her and this is what we saw!!!

It was absolutely repulsive! I can't believe my brother-in-law actually kisses this woman! My poor niece was screaming and gagging! Ben was shaking his head and just taken aback. All I could do was just snap these photos.

The video is the most nauseating!

View at your own discretion.

The funny part is that while I was recording she was saying, "Don't get my face. That's gross! I don't have make-up on!"

Like that was the gross part!